I Don’t Like Pets

Cats shed.

Dogs smell.

Gerbils poop on your hands.

Fish have dirty, disgusting tanks and eat each other.

I understand that many people have deep, emotional connections to their pets and I am glad that they have found something so meaningful. I support eliminating cruelty to animals.

And I’ll even admit in theory, pets seem pretty great. (I had a preference as a young child for white tiger cubs.)

But in practice, I don’t like pets.

Incidentally, I was at Petsmart the other day buying some cat food for my kitties (outdoor; I see them a couple times a week and they keep the mice away). Petsmart had their diamond doves on sale for $27.99, original price $34.99. There was only one left and I imagine the poor bird took quite a hit to his self-esteem.

For a company that claims to understand the connection between people and their chosen best friends, that seemed pretty cold.